City Of Delusion

Three-One
It seems ever so long.

I can't bang my head on the table anymore...
stupid stupid dream
=(

Three-one

Patience is a virtue
as I quote a friend.
But how long could one wait,
when I've waited for what seems to be eternity.

In eternity, hopeful yet doubtful.
I tell myself over and over,
good things come in time.
To only discover myself being hypocritical

Tomorrow it shall be,
I always think.
Only to wake up to the same face;
despair and disappointment.

Lie. Lie.
I keep this up
only to push myself further,
and crash face-first harder

But wait I will.
because that is all I can afford.
Patience is a virtue,
and good things come in time.

In time.

Untitled

I. AM. NO. EMO!
*bangs head on table*
>=(

Ruh

Since i've been getting called something i'm not quite oftenly...

Rules and regulation of the tag :
#All 21 people must do unless you don't have a blog.
#Write the names of 16 friends you can think of in your head.
#And then answer the questions, say you're guessing if you don't know,
#But at least guess on all of them.
#After doing this,tag your 21 unlucky friends to do the same!

1. Benedict
2. Bernard
3. Connie
4. Bug aka Daniel Chan Jr. aka Shih Ping aka Ship
5. Jordan
6. Joshua Khoo
7. Joshua Ooi
8. Kah Heng
9. Leonard
10. Rachel Yeoh
11. Sarah
12. Wil Shen
13. Wilson
14. Yan-Y
15. Ying Shan
16. Ying Shu
17. Thern
18. Yvonne
19. Cassandra
20. Ben Teoh
21. Eugene

1. how did you meet 7 (Joshua Ooi)?
- uhh, was it cg or church or both? or was it tuition? or captain ball?

2. What would you do if you and 15 (Ying Shan) had never met?
- no one to bug me to watch Step Up ,lol.

3. What would you do if 20 (Ben Teoh) and 1 (Benedict) dated?
- i no comment, =X

4. Have you seen 17 (Thern) cried?
- photos ada ler, lol.

5. Would 4 (Bug) and 16 (Ying Shu) make a good couple?
- still no comment! =X

6. Do you think 11 (Sarah) is attractive?
- wah. trick question ka?

7. What is 2 (Bernard)'s favourite colour?
- probably the colors that make his mouth water, lol.

8. When was the last time you talked to 9 (Leonard)?
- should be Saturday ler.

9. What language does 8 (Kah Heng) speaks?
- rojak lar to make it short.

10. Who is 13 (Wilson) going out with?
- LOL.

11. Would you ever date 17 (Thern)?
- BAHAHAHAHA! no.

12. Where does 18 (Yvonne) live?
- somewhere in the middle of everywhere lar.

13. What is the best thing about 4 (Bug)?
- Demigod! nyek nyek.

14 What would you like to tell 10 (Rachel Yeoh) right now?
- put a banana in your earr~, x)

15. What is the best thing about 20(Eugene)?
- my answer machine in school, x)

16. Have you ever kiss 2 (Bernard)?
- WHA?!

17. What is the best memory you have of 5 (Jordan)?
- i know there's this oneeeeeee time we laugh our heads off like nothing. but i can't remember it already, =p

18. When's the next time you're going to see 4 (Bug)?
- tomolo~

19. How is 7 (Joshua Ooi) different from 6 (Joshua Khoo)?
- isn't it kinda obvious already? lol.

20. Is 2 (Bernard) pretty?
- pretty space-occupying if you ask me, lolol. no offense yea? x)

21. What was your 1st impression of 15 (Ying Shan)?
- she got nice phone weh. x)

22. How did you meet 3 (Connie)?
- church kua? or captain ball ka? =S

23. Is 5 (Jordan) your best friend?
- can say so kua? lol.

24. Do you hate 12 (Wil Shen)?
- he too stim to be hated lar! x)

25. Have you seen 18 (Yvonne) in the last month?
- gott.

26. When was the last time you saw 16 (Ying Shu)?
- tuition ka? =p

27. Have you been to 5 (Jordan)'s house?
- yup yup!

28. When's the next time you'll see 10 (Rachel Yeoh)?
- Saturday ler. unless we somehow bump into each other before that.

29. Are you close to 11 (Sarah)?
- okok kuaa? lol.

30. Have you been to the movies with 4 (Bug)?
- yea yea!

31. Have you gotten in trouble with 8 (Kah Heng)?
- almost, x)

32. Would you give 4 (Bug) a hug?
- maybe a bear hug!

33. When have you lied to 3 (Connie)?
- did i did i?

34. Is 11 (Sarah) good at socializing?
- she is friendly you know, lol.

35. Do you know a secret about 8 (Kah Heng)?
- x)

36. Describe the relationship between 12 (Wil Shen) and 18 (Yvonne).
- do they even know each other? lol.

37. What's the best thing about your friendship with 9 (Leonard)?
- Wayne's follower lar he lately, x)

38. What's the worst thing about 6 (Joshua Khoo)?
- got ar? lol.

39. Have you ever had a crush on 12 (Wil Shen)?
- for crying out loud...

40. How long have you known 2 (Bernard)?
- a year or so only ler.

41. Does 11 (Sarah) have any boyfriend?
- i dunno~

42. Have you ever wanted to punch 1 (Benedict) in the face?
- make peace, not war.

43. Has 21 (Eugene) meet your parents?
- nope nope~

44. How did you meet 11 (Sarah)?
- cg or church ar?

45. Did you ever accidentally physically hurt 3 (Connie)?
- don't hit girls, =p

46.Do you live close to 7 (Joshua Ooi)?
- not really.

47. What is 8 (Kah Heng)'s favourite food?
- girls, hahaha. just kidding ar.

48. What kind of car does 1 (Benedict) have?
- i dunno also lerr~

49. Have you traveled anywhere with 9 (Leonard)?
- don't think so ler.

50. If you give 14 (Yan-Y) a $100 , What would she / he spend it on?
- IF i gave her the money, x)

Redundant Hypocrisy

What once gave his word,
now a nameless heir apparent,
a mere shadow of what you claimed.
The catalyst of your damnation.

When everything turns to nothing,
pathetic,
shameless,
you're so far gone already.

Bastard whoreson bloated with lies from the serpent like mouth of his,
Choke on your own words;
the venom you drip for hypocrites.
Every word said, crucified and forsaken.

Acrid Placidity

Reality shatters;
Skinned to the very bone,
the flesh feasted by self,
and stripped bare of soul.
A dance with the shadows of nothing, the last dance with death.
A duel to death with life.

Experiencing the unexisting,
stare into the abyss of organic dreams.
In it, the eyes of insanity.
Sentenced to it for eternity; a second of structured chaos.
Fall into the clarity of undoing; warped by taunting whispers of the soul.
Identity erased.

Creatures from the dark crawl unleashed,
grimacing at the prospect of it's creator.
The creator, the monster within.
Merges into one in the the state of zen; lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride.
In embracing minds, in grins of excitement.
The bastard of mutinous spawn bleeds flourishment.

Dwelling in the sea of raw emotions;
The dead of memories incarnated.
Reality shattered.

Hope Leaves

Twisted these holidays has been.
It has been one real blessing that my exams were set before the school holidays this time. Yet somehow crazy as it seems, there's this certain yearning for more challenges. I remember the very night before my Moral exams where I crammed 12 of those good-for-nothing nilai-s into my head and on the break of very day of my Literature exam was the only 30 minutes of 2009 where I sat down and tried memorizing a poem with like around 50 - 60 words.

And you wanna know what these two subjects have in common?
A single damn mistake and it's game over!

But oddly enough, everything stayed in.
It was as if it had always been there waiting for a little reminding. And the feeling of being able to just recite them as I go.
It was beyond euphoric, beyond words, beyond anything.

Sadly enough, where there are ups, there are bound to be downs in life.
As you know, last minute studying never bears much fruit and thus, I shall not elaborate any further in my examinations.
:)

Well, the holidays which have just passed left me with a lot of things to think about. Thanks to the fact my computer was down for a whole damn week. And once again, I'm faced with the fact that I have no idea of what I wanna do in the coming future.

Unfortunately I'm running out of the inspiration that made me start this post. So I'll probably continue on some other time if I ever get that certain inspiration again.
Hopefully.

Current mood: Meh...
Currently listening to: Dead Memories - Slipknot

Black Label

No need for introductions, I've read about people like YOU on the backs of toilet doors.

SO FUCK YOU.
So get lost.

So get out of my face.
So get out of my life.

Times Like These

I actually realized quite a number of things already...

01. It's March next week!
02. ZOMFG! I haven't studied crap!
03. Did I just use ZOMFG? What the hell man...
04. My hair's growing rather slowly.
05. I've actually been doing my homework...
06. I just discovered how to have fun with music.
07. People keep saying that my writing is really nice and neat. Is it?
08. I've been updating this blog rather frequently.
09. 2009's gonna be quite bland in terms of my music, =/
10. It's the 17th Valentine's Day that I'm single!
11. I forget a lot of stuff really quickly.
12. I got speak very canggih English meh? Got mehh?
13. I'm not as energetic as I used to be, cihh.
14. My fingers are kinda long.
15. There are more than one non-black and non-white shirts in my cupboard.
16. No gigs so far?! WTFWTFWTFTWF?!
17. I wanna go for Sunburst Festival!
18. That is, 'til I saw the artist lineup.
19. I need to get piss drunk.
20. Harvest wasn't good this CNY.
21. Foo Fighters has been playing on my PC, MP3 player and head a lot lately.
22. I wanna move down to KL.
23, Or maybe Sweden!
24. I'm no emo!
25. Maybe colors + emo?
26. Colormo or emolor then!
27. Piercings! Tattoos! I need 'em fast!
28. I think I'm jaded.
29. I just remembered recently that I wear glasses.
30. I've done that dumb kursus thing since November or December 2008 and I have yet to take the exam.
31. I hate Thursdays, =l
32. I got a 500 word essay to do and it's wayyy past it's deadline. Hohoho~
33. I'm short...
34. I've lived in Malaysia for over 16 years and I've only been to KL and Johor.
35. Did I mention that I forget things easily?

Summer's End

I'm bored.

So!

I'm gonna write about myself for once!

__________________________________________________

I seek out who I truly am and I still seek. Lacking the ability to open up easily to other people and any attractive features, I find it hard to connect to others at first glance.

Which in turn displays my lack of luck with the opposite gender.

Though I may be more inclined towards something I love and refuse to admit there are better things out there, I often have come to find that there are much more to things than what meets the eye. Gradually, I have seen the light that the best things in life come in a variety.

The variety of differences and the differences of variety are what make life much more beautiful.

Severely deprived of exercise, I am frail not only in physical means but emotionally as well. I find it hard, near impossible, to put my all into focusing on one matter.

I cheat my way out of things.

And the cycle repeats.

Always.

All in all, I'm just a boy living in a very funny world.

__________________________________________________

I don't think I made much sense, did I?

Broken Hands

I've been getting lots of people asking me what I'm gonna do once I'm done with school. What I'll be doing in the future, what I'll be doing for a living.
So far, I've only thought of answers like "Dunno", "See how first lar" or just a shrug.

And finally I have a solid answer:
Do I look like a man with a plan?

The Passing

Valentine's Day?
Hmmm...

What about it?

99

Still gets to me after watching him 3 times.
Pure absolute genius.